The Nine Night

I'm blogging about something that hasn't happened yet - an idea that I got several hours ago on the phone to a really good friend.
The title 'Nine Night' is a traditional Caribbean function that happens nine nights after the death of a loved one. I'm not going to sit here and blog that other cultures or people in other parts of the world do not do this, but I mostly hear about Nine Nights from West Indian people. As circumstance has it my family is having one for my brother tonight. Ok, so I said I was going to blog about something that hasn't happened, only, there is a stipulation that I should talk about the thing in question as though it has already happened, and my friend who may read this was right, some things you just can't talk about until you get there, but you kinda have an idea of the outcome before you reach. Ahh, to be wise and young eh?

Me and my mum (I've accepted 'me and' sentences now, after much inner turmoil and battles with my resident pedant so I'll be saying it more often - I'm a grammar nazi at heart but I can still be flexible when I need to), so ... me and mum decided to have a joint Nine Night, one at the Hither Green flat and the other at my mum’s house. Naturally younger folk will head to the flat and the golden crew will be at my mums. My parents are secret lemonade drinkers so the alcoho-pops will be consumed in SE13.

I think I covered all the bases in regards to food/drink/accessories, I just have to get a picture of my brother blown up and framed, place it in his room and light some candles at 6pm.
In light of everything, so many people have rallied behind us and it's fantastic how much support we've received - overwhelming amounts of love for the family, so I shouldn't complain about my phone blowing up constantly should I? Nah - people care and they're only doing what they feel is right.

Guys Read

It can be argued that I shouldn't be blogging, I should be curled up somewhere in a foetal mess, dribbling saliva onto my shirt, letting the bogey run out of my nose as I mourn my brother's passing. No doubt he'd get a little satisfaction knowing that I cared that much to let my entire sense of vanity cascade out the window, but he would prefer if I was being the man he knew me to be. Writing is cathartic, for me anyway. He knew that from seeing me time and time again stuck behind my laptop engrossed in a Microsoft Word document. The moments where I feel as though I might lose it, I power up the laptop or unlock the BlackBerry and get to writing. If none of those are nearby I opt for a book.

Several blogs ago, I posted a link about a book called Funny Business. Well, the post was to a video highlighting a site called 'Guys Read' and the book is the first of a series, yet I'm conscious that I'm about to start splitting heirs - hold on ... too late. Anyways, it's a really good book (Funny Business that is, try to keep up). The introduction kicks off with the joke about a joke found in the video clip, so when you start reading it, if you've seen the clip, like me you go off and imagine each writer saying their lines. A day into it and I'm already more than halfway through.
Guy's Read is a collection of short stories, each one as good as the next. My favourite so far is 'Will'. I won't give the plot away but it's a story full of the kind of writing that I love!

I'm ending this blog abruptly because I want to get back to reading and see if there are any more excellent stories. My guess is there are.

My brother was a fighter, a real one!

I haven't blogged in a hot minute, not because I didn't want to but because I struggled to find the time in light of current events.
I don't think I've ever mentioned I have brothers on here, but I do. I have two, and they are a couple of characters. In our own way I know we all have each other’s backs even though we don't always openly say so. I'm the youngest of the three of us and naturally the tallest. The eldest is bossy and the middle brother is the smallest but the toughest. The fact that he died on Monday 14th March (2011) might raise a few questions as to how tough he was but as far as I'm concerned he was the strongest individual I'd ever met.
Uchenna Damian Jeffrey contracted Systemic Lupus Erythematosus when he was 11 years old. It wreaked havoc with his blood, messed with his immune system, destroyed kidney funtion, damaged skin and hair on numerous occasions, and I haven't even touched the surface of what he really endured. Watching this happen over the years made me wonder how anyone could take that and carry on as though there was hope. Uchenna did just that, right up to the end when it took multi organ failure to finally step in and take him from us. But that's just my point. Multi organ failure - not one specific organ or reason, it took several of his vital organs to shut that little soldier down in the end and if he'd been stronger that Monday, he'd still be here.
I think my brother chose to let go, I don't for one second believe that he gave up or wanted to die. I just think he needed to be somewhere else. This world, this existence, just wasn't up to his standards.

Denny's Diary

June 15th 2011

What the hell happened to the sunshine?
I'm on my way to work and I'm looking in the sky, it's summer and there's no sun. As I didn't check the weather I have no way of knowing whether this is temporary, but I hope that the golden glow comes back, it makes what I do that much more enjoyable.
Several hours later and nothing, not even a hint of extra light peeking through the clouds. From my office window it looks like an arch angel got a can of grey paint and splashed it across the sky. It's given me time to think. It's given me pause to wonder if I have a problem. I can't see how owning a supreme libido is a problem, although a recent conversation I had with my newest therapist has led me to question if my urges are still within my control. I caught myself at my desk typing in 'www.xxx-' need I go on?
If it wasn't for a sudden coffee craving I think I would have had some of the best HD videos on my screen and a smile on my face.

The sun needs to come out and I need to deal with my demons in the privately public way I've become accustomed to.

The last man on Earth

There's a reason why women will soon become the most powerful and dominant speicies on the planet and it's not because they are more intelligent than anything that breathes.
The reason will not be down to numbers either. Just because you have more people in a gang holding rocks doesn't mean you'll bash all our heads in.
The reason is simple - men, will eventually kill each other off. We're doing it at a rapid rate that appears to have no end in sight. Before we know it they'll be one guy left, and he'll assume that he's one lucky sod. He'll have plans to embark on a quest to repopulate the planet and go about this task with fervour.
In reailty I doubt it'll pan out like that but sometimes guys are a little optimistic when they think the odds are stacked in their favour.

Guys Read - I love this. Take a look, it's too much!

Heading to Amazon now to see if I can get a copy!

I love this, maybe a little too much

This isn't the news

Nothing excites me more than something worth being excited about and since I have the backing of someone super special I'm sure it's all going to be just fine.
I rarely take my own advice, if I did I would have done several important things a long time ago, but a wise friend told me no matter how much I beat myself up it's never too late to do what I want to do.

You can search high and low for perspective but nothing beats advice from someone who truly wants to see you become awesome.

3

Seeing no other way out, Charlie stumbled to the door and felt the cold steel on the palms of his hands. He knew what he was about to do probably wouldn't work but all he had once faith it might. He didn't realise that was all he needed.
The door didn't feel as heavy as it should have. Maybe the gas was finally getting to him but he was sure the heavy metal against his fingers moved. It gave him enough hope to push harder. Gently the door eased open and a piercing alarm rang out so loud it disorientated him momentarily, enough for him to fall to his knees. He was the first to suck in fresh air.

3

Captain McCarthy lacked the security clearance to enter the old training facility at the northern end of the base. As far as he knew it was only used by a select few soldiers and some of the scientists stationed on the base. No one talked about the place and there were rumours that it was used for nothing more than a science lab and a place injured soldiers could make recoveries from severe injuries. If that was true he'd not met a soldier who'd been discharged from there. Like most grunts in the army McCarthy didn't ask questions, but he was curious.

3

Gas was leaking from somewhere. The entire room was saturated and a simple spark would ignite the air and kill everyone inside.
The children were the only one's who'd lasted long enough to see all the soldiers had passed out, possibly dead. Trapped in a room with ten inch thick walls, no windows, no vents and seven busted canisters of gas meant everyone would be dead if they couldn't escape. Charlie shook himself upright, ignoring the gas filling his lungs and steadied Jade as she fell forwards in an attempt to stand up.
"Why are we still alive?" She asked, scared but relieved.
"I don't know," Charlie replied, but we won't be if we don't get out of here soon."

Putting my money where my mouth is

Long overdue by a good few miles methinks.

I'm placed at a crossroads with the choice to play it safe or take a risk, and I'm taking the risk. Even though this is my blog where I post my intimates, I'm keeping this particular decision close to my chest. I will tell only a single soul other than my own, and that's it.


I'm not hopeful or anxious, just decided.

Whoop deee WHOOOOP!

A total contrast from yesterdays blog where I was moaning hard about how tough it is to manage a basketball team and coach and blah blah blah - but, my girls brought home the BIG 'W' last night. It was like the penny dropped from the moment the ball went up in the air on the tip-off.
We played one hell of a first quarter and kept the game close taking the lead at the end of the half. Everybody put their bodies on the line, took hits and played solid team defence - the stuff dreams are made of!

One thing is for sure, seeing that and coaching it from the sideline makes all the hard work make sense.



I LOVE MY RED RAVENS!

Arrrrggggh!

Dealing with basketball admin can get tiring. Not only do you have to ensure all your players are available for games, you need to let the referee's know the games are confirmed and arrange table officials if you're having a home game.

Sounds pretty straight forward doesn't it? So days before a game you still haven't received confirmation that all your players are available and you've already told the ref's the game is a 'go ahead'.
Yeah I'm ranting and venting, but it's the first time publicly and my partner in crime has the same problems too. We're both juggling full time jobs, children and a bunch of grown ass people to boot.
There aren't any breaks and this is our first time doing this, so hopefully it won't be the last. One thing we both hate more than failing is, giving up!

His soul is mine

I'm the thing that watches Stefan when he's alone, at home, typing away at his desk. I'm the thing that makes the noises he hears and allows him to find solace in blaming the wind. I'm the thing that watches him whilst he sleeps; he's so peaceful, one night I may just make him sleep forever. I'm the thing that whispered in his ear last week, he didn't hear the words but it sent a chill down his spine and he spun around like he knew I was there. I'm the thing that tapped him on the shoulder when he was walking to the bathroom down the dark hallway; he likes to walk around in the dark. I like this one, don't want our fun to end. He thinks he's not scared of me but he knows I'm here.

I'm the thing that wrote this while he lays there fast asleep.