It's been a hot frikkin' minute but I'm back and I've had something on my mind for, erm... a hot frikkin minute now (***CORRECTION***) ...somebody!
I owe the birth of this blog to my homegirl Dex aka 'Slim Baller' aka 'Do You Not Know Who I Am?'... Sometimes I need a little nudge to put my thoughts on the interwebs.
We were sitting in Gourmet Burger several moons ago putting away ounces of BULLY BEEF, when I start yapping about this woman I saw at the gym. Hell, I even wrote a status on Facebook concerning my inability to produce saliva when I saw her.
What was I doing? I hear you say. Why didn't I talk to her? I hear you ask.
At the time I was talking to one of the new starters on the volunteer programme and only caught a glimpse of the Olympian as she walked past. Clearly I'd forgotten what the hell I was saying because the woman I was talking to looked at me like I'd suddenly started talking gibberish.
YES, at that moment in time I'd unlocked my latent ability to speak and say nothing, but noise was still being produced so, in my head everything was still working ticketty-boo. I remember my lips going a little dry too like this woman had walked past and sapped all the moisture out of the air.
I kid you not, the rest of the male contingent of personal trainers, volunteers and gym instructors on various levels and balconies (it's a big flippin' gym) had seen her also and as guys do, we all shared the collective expression of men who'd seen an exclusive hard-to-obtain sports car drive past and absentmindedly gravitate towards it.
Where was she going exactly...? >>> directly to the changing room (oh lord, if I was a fly on the wall in there what wonders would I see?). The to be truthful, I'd completely forgotten I was talking this other lady and what I was talking about, I'd nearly forgotten she was standing there too, so when the lights came back on in my head I had to ask her what the f&£k I was saying.
If you're expecting some sort of message, moral to this tale, an insight or piece of learning from the experience, then I'm afraid I've got nothing. I was just a dude, functioning as a dude, standing in front of a girl, gazing at another girl...
