The Dilemma of Intimacy

Pic sourced from Google Images...

Before I get my teeth stuck into this blog, I want to warn you that you may not agree with some or a lot of what I say. The language I may use could very well offend and your perception of me based on what you read might change. How you feel about all of what comes next is not actually my concern, your views are your own... these are just a bunch of thoughts I’ve had in the last 72hrs that dragged me over to my laptop...

Why is sex so good?

Ever stopped and wondered why you (you in particular) enjoy sex?

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been in serious, no holding back, the Earth melts away and it’s just the two of you, love... and had sex, or as some of you would argue – ‘make’ love?

Well it’s a totally different experience than just picking up a ‘random’ or dating someone you kinda like for a while and sleeping with them.

Last time I checked I wasn’t a woman, but I can imagine that for most women, opening themselves up to someone and letting them in, all the way in, isn’t something they take lightly, or should be taking lightly.

As much as us guys try to roll around town gloating to our ‘boys’ that we macked the shit outta some woman and got her to drop her panties... the reality is, is that a woman allows you in, and it’s a warm, often moist invitation.

Guys, please don’t kid ourselves, no woman slept with us because we made them do it. If that was the case, well – we’re kinda treading that fine line that could get your ass thrown in prison.

Accept the fact that sleeping with a woman is a privilege and let her know with every inch just how grateful you are. This includes the time you spend when you’re not curled up around each other like a ponytail.

And yet, intimacy can be quite a dilemma...

You meet someone new, there’s immediate chemistry, but sometimes we’re unsure about where to go and what to do next.

Imagine a ‘first date’ – if within the first hour you’re both sitting very close, laughing at her joke, tracing the oddly shaped scar on the back of her hand with your index finger from where she fell of her bike, and she’s inviting you; by moving her hair out the way to look at the other one on the back of her neck, then I’m pretty certain a kiss is probably coming your way.

And what about sex?

What about it...

I don’t think it’s something to be toyed with or treated disrespectfully. I’m not a fan of not being in love and having some serious Doogoo Doogoo, but trust me, sex is far better when you’re with someone and in the act of her taking you inside, you both, for the longest time, lose all sense of anything but the feeling you have right then and there. It’s that exact feeling that grows with every touch, every kiss, every thought you have of each other when you’re apart that causes you to smile, and every silence you spend looking at each other when the other person doesn’t notice.  

It’s usually at this point that intimacy is no longer a dilemma...

Make the call...

Pic sourced from Google Images

Let me cast my mind back (click on the blog before the previous blog) and lo-and-behold it was about friends, so you can’t really blame me for staying on the same theme can you?!

The reason for this is that my friends are kinda frikkin’ awesome and all it takes is a phone call (yes a phone call not a text) to one of them and I’m filled with the unwavering desire to be with them giving out hugs and fist bumps.

As with most things that happen with all of us, there’s a story, and the road to writing this blog evolved from my son calling me from a christening he was attending. He simply wanted to say hi and check up on me which (if you’re a parent) feels ridiculously fabulous that your kid took the time to send you some love!

His call made me think of my parents who I was with only the night before chilling watching that Tom Hanks/Leonardo DiCaprio movie, you know; the one where Tom Hanks is chasing him for like the entire film... Anyway, it was great to be with the folks, laughing, talking, existing – something I need to do more often.

Mum picked up the phone when I called today and I said: “Hey, just thought I’d call to see if you were okay?” to which I could hear the smile and her subsequent mood elevate immediately. We talked, I checked on dad, said my “love you’s”, ended the call.

So now I’m in the zone, I’m heading home from training since 9am; it’s 6pm and I wanna tell someone who I love that, I love them. I try to call my son back twice but he’s more than likely doing the ‘Dougie’ or ‘Shuffling’ to very loud music.

I call Lianne! (Now... to my other friends, it’s not a reflection on depth/volume, but our sons have similar names so she and a few other people usually pop into my head when I’m ‘love-zoning’ plus I haven’t seen her in a hot minute)...

PS: The way she answers the phone is always, EPIC!

PPS: The way I respond to her EPIC greeting is borderline legendary!

So... we get talking and the first thing she highlights is that she was talking about me to someone else, and if you ever get the chance to listen to someone talking about how proud of you they are – DO NOT INTERRUPT – of which I didn’t.

I was unaware of how much stuff I’d done in a short space of time until she ‘framed’ it during our conversation, and as much as it made me feel good, I did actually call to hear about her.

Minutes later I got the 411 (the 411 being Lianne’s business of which I not going to share), and let’s just say I’m proud of my friend who is doing well regardless of various speed bumps and occasional hindrances. I've known this woman since 1997 and nothing is too negative or difficult for her to deal with and it made me realise even more how important it is to cherish everyone around you. It doesn’t really matter if people aren’t passing you positive energy, just be the one sending it their way and don’t expect anything back, it’ll circle round when it’s ready for you.

I digress a little... the 30 minute conversation with Lianne has been deep, uplifting and insightful, I end the call totally missing-my-friend like crazy and I’m sending her dates to keep free after July 18^th (big day... very different blog)...

There are other things I want to say, and I started this blog intending to write on the topic above but, sent it in a slightly similar but different direction. 

I wrote this without thinking too much and thus the words came from probably the best place I can think of...