Urgh and Relationships

Pic sampled from Google images

I've been writing this in my head for several days now and haven't found the time to jot down my thoughts. Seriously, I'm that busy!

Last week I got involved (sorry, more like dragged kicking and biting) into about four different conversations about race (a word I dislike) and relationships, ex's and sex. The word ‘race’ is often used as a way to separate and categorise and if we all bleed ‘red’ how are we apparently so alien to the person standing next to us?

My intention was to write two separate blogs, one about race (urgh) and another about relationships, but over the course of the week, the two blurred and smashed together like two shades of silly putty and as hard as I tried to pull it all apart into its separate elements, I kept finding traces of each still squished to the other.

Why do I avoid the 'race' conversation? 

Because it's usually goes round in circles and if handled badly someone is either labelled a racist or people go away thinking exactly that. If you're not eloquent enough in getting your points across you could end up photo-shopped into a picture standing next to a burning cross with a smile on your face. 

The 'dragged kicking and biting' part of this blog was when some bright spark asked me if I prefer to date white women based on my most recent relationship. I was just minding my own business eating some grilled chicken with a side of watermelon for dessert, some coconut water to wash it all down when the interrogation began.

My answer has and always will be, "I'm attracted to women."
So when I gave that response it confused the hell out of everyone in the room expecting me to dig in and take a side...

Why can't I just meet a woman, irrespective of how much or how little melanin she has and just get along with her. Apparently that's not acceptable because I'm an 'Intelligent black man with so much to offer!' 

What the shit?! I actually find that comment both insulting and patronising. So, based on the choice I previously made and the choices I might make, I'm too intelligent to date outside of my melanin count?
Okay... by now the room had my full attention. Chicken unfinished, watermelon untouched and coconut water getting warm, I'm surrounded by several individuals who believe (not think, believe) that I should definitely be dating a black woman the next time around. 

...Hold on, I can't type for a sec, I wrote that last sentence and burst out laughing...   

If aliens crash landed in London tomorrow, not far from Oxford Circus to be exact, I don't think if they had bad intentions for us they'd run around picking off specific people based on skin colour. 

They would more than likely see us as one 'race' (urgh) of people and kill everything that tried to scurry away. So, why do we think that we're all separate, unrelated 'races' (urgh) of people?
And at this juncture, this is where the blog I was going to write would have started but I'm going to avoid that for the time being.

Back to 'you-know-what’ and relationships... I shouldn't have to feel as though I need to defend my opinions on who I like to date, I don't mind if a woman is awesome and black/white or otherwise, and why would that decision (being totally mine) bother anyone else. 

Am I supposed to create chemistry with a white woman that isn't present just to have a relationships and do the same with a black woman. If I like you, I like you; if I don't like you, then you're probably not going to know because I won't be talking to you for very long especially if you instigated the conversation...

We put so much emphasis on what we see, making judgements before we speak or listen, and use the information given (not discovered) to make various life choices with potential partners and it all seems a bit nuts to me. 

If the woman has patchy coloured skin and one arm slightly shorter than the other, that doesn't mean she's not ridiculously beautiful. No one other than you should have any say or opinion on who you date, and if they do, please, please - do not take a break from eating your chicken and watermelon, you deserve it, the coconut water too!

This song felt totally appropriate... I don't care either: