Words have returned...

Sorry, vid doesn't play but you can view on IG @stephthecoach

I have been quiet for a very long time, but not for terrible reasons or excessive procrastination (when you re-read that slower it will not say masturbation - head/gutter get out!)

Figured I'd quit one career and start another, so I did. My previous post back in August 2014 was just as things were picking up for me and I was beginning to see some great returns from all my hard work, and I'm not referring to money - instead what has changed is my ability to coach and light that all important 'fire' within clients so they can progress and become LEGENDS!

Previous posts on this site prior to summer 2014 were a mishmash of things I was thinking about at the time, so if there is anything that proves to be helpful, then that's awesome.

This post in particular is only supposed to be short and to the point, but I can't help but digress ever so slightly sometimes... The real reason for the post is to shamelessly welcome myself back to 'writing'. And no, I'm not talking about books/novels/poems although I'm known for short stories etc... NOPE! I just have this annoying knack of thinking too much and writing my thoughts down, it keeps me sane; so it's no small wonder that I write-up my workouts in the gym, jot down sessions I give to clients and do a boat-load of admin on a regular basis! It's all my brains way of crying for help and it's saying: 

"LET ME WRITE, YOU KNOB!"

So here I am, still training to look good naked as per the strap-line on my blog and pretty much thinking about, everything and fitness...

Changing Lives

Sourced from Google Images

Being this inspired to put pen to paper, or in this case, fingers to keys hasn’t happened in a while. Lately, my time has been consumed with growing my business and plugging myself and my time into that during the moments I’m awake.

Tonight’s blog is a combination of lots of little things that has brought me back here with a view to share a few thoughts. The overwhelming theme this evening that I’m compelled to write about is life changing – no literally – I’m talking about; changing lives.

The things we say and do for each other, good or bad, have the potential to send us on paths of varying pain or pleasure. You might have had the desire in your mind to do something risky, out of your comfort zone, but you were too scared until some random person; or a good friend said: “Go on, why not give it a try...” and here you are, doing things with your life that you thought you’d never do, never thought you had the strength to do.

In light of what I just wrote in the previous paragraph, it’s so important not to be overly critical about yourself and the state of play your life is in, especially if you feel like life for you currently isn’t so great. We can all identify with times when things were not as sparkly or shiny as we’d like. During those times why not dedicate a portion of your energy into making someone else happy, I guarantee you’ll be happy too as a result. If a friend is debating a serious decision, don’t tell them what to do, help them to find the answer on their own. The best part about discovery is when you’re equipped with the tools and support to engage in it on your own.

As hard as life can be, why make it harder by spending precious hours being angry at other people. Do you have a passion? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do? Why not give over the time to get on with the things your heart is asking you to do, and thus make your heart ‘happy’.

Are you reading this and thinking; I’ve got so much negativity around me, it’s impossible to think straight’ and if that’s your existence right now, what’s stopping you being the person to send out the positive vibes missing from the circle of negative things trying to permeate your everyday life... I’m not saying this stuff is easy. I’m not saying you should listen and do as I say either; I’m merely handing over a different way of looking at things.

I was in a crappy place a few days ago for a number of reasons and within that crappy place, during those crappy moments, I thought: why can’t I flip it all 180 degrees, turn that frown into a smile, that dirty look into one of empathy and so on and so forth, and then it hit me – RECYCLE EVERYTHING!

So that’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the last several days. Anything I deem to have the potential to bring me down, I change it in my head, and it works. It takes some getting used to, and don’t get me wrong if you still want to grab a friend and have a rant; don’t avoid the opportunity, but as I said earlier – make someone else’s day brighter then work on yours...

We spend a hell of a lot of time looking for people to love when the one person we need to love is the person you are right now, in this moment and every moment that came before and after. Once we master that, other people gravitate towards us in floods. I can honestly say this is true, it works, I wouldn’t bullshit you for the sake of saying it on my blog to get you to read anything additional that I may write. Try it... Forget about that awesome person you’re trying to be with (it’s incredibly likely that very person has done exactly what I’m suggesting to you).

In summary:

-Make others feel good

-Think positively in the face of hardship

-Get out of your comfort zone

-Love ‘you’ first not last

-Make your heart happy

And like I do with my blogs I’m ending with a song. This song in particular is one my dad used to play when I was younger, it reminds me of a time when life was awesomely cool. I listen to it now I’m older and really hear the words and in some way I think my dad was teaching me something that he knew I’d eventually figure out for myself. I plan on letting him know I have...

The Dilemma of Intimacy

Pic sourced from Google Images...

Before I get my teeth stuck into this blog, I want to warn you that you may not agree with some or a lot of what I say. The language I may use could very well offend and your perception of me based on what you read might change. How you feel about all of what comes next is not actually my concern, your views are your own... these are just a bunch of thoughts I’ve had in the last 72hrs that dragged me over to my laptop...

Why is sex so good?

Ever stopped and wondered why you (you in particular) enjoy sex?

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever been in serious, no holding back, the Earth melts away and it’s just the two of you, love... and had sex, or as some of you would argue – ‘make’ love?

Well it’s a totally different experience than just picking up a ‘random’ or dating someone you kinda like for a while and sleeping with them.

Last time I checked I wasn’t a woman, but I can imagine that for most women, opening themselves up to someone and letting them in, all the way in, isn’t something they take lightly, or should be taking lightly.

As much as us guys try to roll around town gloating to our ‘boys’ that we macked the shit outta some woman and got her to drop her panties... the reality is, is that a woman allows you in, and it’s a warm, often moist invitation.

Guys, please don’t kid ourselves, no woman slept with us because we made them do it. If that was the case, well – we’re kinda treading that fine line that could get your ass thrown in prison.

Accept the fact that sleeping with a woman is a privilege and let her know with every inch just how grateful you are. This includes the time you spend when you’re not curled up around each other like a ponytail.

And yet, intimacy can be quite a dilemma...

You meet someone new, there’s immediate chemistry, but sometimes we’re unsure about where to go and what to do next.

Imagine a ‘first date’ – if within the first hour you’re both sitting very close, laughing at her joke, tracing the oddly shaped scar on the back of her hand with your index finger from where she fell of her bike, and she’s inviting you; by moving her hair out the way to look at the other one on the back of her neck, then I’m pretty certain a kiss is probably coming your way.

And what about sex?

What about it...

I don’t think it’s something to be toyed with or treated disrespectfully. I’m not a fan of not being in love and having some serious Doogoo Doogoo, but trust me, sex is far better when you’re with someone and in the act of her taking you inside, you both, for the longest time, lose all sense of anything but the feeling you have right then and there. It’s that exact feeling that grows with every touch, every kiss, every thought you have of each other when you’re apart that causes you to smile, and every silence you spend looking at each other when the other person doesn’t notice.  

It’s usually at this point that intimacy is no longer a dilemma...

Doing it my way!

Image sourced from Google

The temptation to write several separate blogs has been pulling at me for nearly a week now. So much has happened that if I wrote it all down, I'd still be writing tomorrow afternoon. Instead I'll summarise as much as possible because; quite frankly I'm busy and have things to do...

An underlying theme, a very constant underlying theme is one of happiness. Even during the more stressful moments I have, there's still an undercurrent of 'happy' flowing beneath my feet - so when things aren't totally positive I just dip into the stream. 

Since going into business for myself, my whole outlook on everything has changed. I understand why anyone who is self-employed has an air of confidence about them. Making things happen and pushing yourself to bring about success takes a lot of energy and the process isn't an overnight experience, you never know when things will take off, and if they do, can you maintain the snowball effect?

As exciting as it is, it's scary but satisfying.

One thing I avoid is thinking I have any competition. I'm not interested in what anyone else in my field is doing, I focus totally on my own unique way of engaging, supporting, and training people - yet I'm humble enough to listen and learn from other trainers like myself, and humble enough to thank people for showing me new and interesting techniques. 

Confidence is definitely a byproduct of putting your self out into the world. It was that same confidence that helped me tick 'speed dating' off my bucket list last week. 
I attended on my own and had the most amazing and fun set of experiences all within the space of 4hrs. 

Armed with no more than 3 minutes to get to know someone, you quickly learn the most expedient questions to ask, and every so often spark an immediate rapport with someone partly due to the shared experience. I didn't go with the intention of meeting someone I could date, it'll sound strange but, I just wanted the experience, the practice. And I've found coming away from it all with a heightened ease of speaking to absolutely anyone. 

If I'm queuing for something, I'll talk to the person in front or behind me. I'm on the tube and see an interesting trinket or item of clothing, I'll enquire, and like that; another conversation begins... Naturally people like to ask what you do, and as if by magic I'm talking about personal training and contact details are exchanged. 

Lately, I've been quite a hard-ass when it's come to my son who's looking more and more like a man each day. It worries me sometimes that he isn't always mindful of his surroundings and thoughtful of others, so I've been 'serious dad' for a while now. 
That's come to an end! I tap into the 'happy' and get that smile from him that I haven't seen in a while by being the father he needs right now. And, what's great is that he's opening up to me more regarding what's on his mind and the things he wants to do with his life. 

Being a parent, helping another person navigate their life respectfully is the most rewarding thing anyone can hope to do, you just worry constantly that you're doing it right, or at the very least, a half decent job. 

My next trick will be to earn more doing less hours and thus expanding any time I can have with my man-cub...

So you see... This piece started out in my head as a random smattering of thoughts which I still haven't fully formed and written, but the blog feels like it's come to a natural end. And who would I be to drag it out any further except to commend anyone taking their lives to the next level and showing my love and adoration to all the parents out there. 

I couldn’t think of a more fitting song to complete this piece: